I went to attend the briefing because Rebecca, Kylie, Amelia and Audrey were also interested in it. Tbh I wasn't really keen on it because politics are not my area of interest and I'm not so big on attending interviews and lying through my teeth about volunteer work and stuff, yeah :/
I would love to do volunteer work like the TCP Empowerment camp I attended once though - the kind where you go into deep sharing sessions about how to strive to be a better you in life and putting the past behind you and just becoming a new person. It really helped me when I was going through a bad self esteem phase at that time and I cried everyday I was in that camp, lol. I really want to help others like that. I want to reach out to youths like myself and tell them that everything's going to be okay because I made through what seemed like the darkest part of my life and made it out okay.
And even now, sometimes I find myself struggling without faith but then I just have to remember that I'm always overworrying and stressing myself out - especially on things that definitely need not be stressed over. Traits of an INFJ I guess @__@ But yeah, I would love to do volunteer work like that. So far I haven't had an opportunity to do so but!!! Hopefully in the near future.
I was actually planning to work during these holidays but then I thought it over and I really wanna do something enriching with it~
So here are some plans. Resolutions!
- Wardrobe sale! I will clear out my wardrobe again and sell the ones I never wore / rarely wear! I might put them up on this space or on eBay or somewhere, idk :D I just have to figure out how to efficiently weigh them and gauge the shipping fees first >< I know I have a shit TON of clothes to sell, though.
- I will (hopefully) get some guitar lessons! I haven't had any formal lessons and I stopped touching my guitar this year bc lack of practice / time and I forgot how to play all of it again. Anyway self-teaching clearly isn't working for me because very little is coming out of it, lol. I just wanna start all over again~ I don't want professional lessons though! I just wanna learn how to play simple Taylor Swift songs :p
- Cantonese! I really want to pick up this language (or dialect, if you so have it). I'm a Cantonese myself and I really want to be able to speak it, because my dad speaks it and his family speaks it and my mother understands it, so >< I really want to be able to be more in touch with my roots & be more fluent in more languages~ The past few days I've been spending time learning the basics and making a notebook for it, though. I hope from here on I can only improve! I ((attempted)) to talk to my parents in Cantonese today and they passed me a handful of Hong Kong dramas and were like, go watch it, you'll improve faster, lololol.
- Japanese! I finished my third semester learning it and I'll be starting my fourth next semester~ I really want to improve on it in my own time! I really want to be fluent in Japanese~
- Speaking of which, me and Niko just recently signed up for a Japanese interaction session on the 9th of September! :D Next, next week! We'll be interacting with a bunch of Japanese students coming from Tokyo I think? and it'll be so much fun. Well, I convinced Niko anyways lol. It'll be a whole day program thing, so :0 I can't wait! Gonna communicate with them in my limited Japanese and hopefully improve on it by the day's end~ And maybe find a few Gazette fans, maybe, kekeke >>
- Kind of a random thing, but I've been thinking a lot about improving my Chinese vocabulary as well... I'm Chinese so obviously I already know how to speak the language, but I've stopped lessons for it years ago and I'm just so scared that me using English more often these days is making me lose touch with my mother tongue :/ I feel like getting a ton of Chinese vocab handbooks or assessments for fun, lol. I really want to be fluent in many languages, see~
- So I got Rebecca and Amelia to sign up with me for a Career/Resume Preparation Workshop kinda thing on the 15th of Oct, just because I feel like I need to do more things during this otherwise mundane holiday >>
- Also, meet ups with lots of my friends that I usually don't have time to meet up with T___T I miss them all so much
- I have a bunch of tumblr likes saved that include lots of make-up tutorials, hair tutorials, etc. I think one of my main goals currently is to improve on my fashion style and make-up (I feel like getting back into make-up >>) and being more gyaru-oriented like I used to be. I miss being pretty~
Also the past week I've been reading up a lot on studying in Japan because I really want to be able to do that after graduating Mass Communications in 2015... I would love to just be able to study in Japan for a year in a language school because that's the fastest way to brush up on your Japanese and just bask in their culture and everything all at the same time, right?! Plus of course it'd give me easy access to their fashion and... jrock concerts >> No surprise there. I'd really love for it to happen, but I don't really see any available scholarships for Japanese language schools (for Singapore) and the ones that are provided are related to studying in universities (the monbukagakusho scholarship) which means I have take entrance exams which are English / Japanese / Math for the humanities side. I'm fine with taking Eng and Jap ones, but I'm not so sure about Math :/ Math has always been my achilles' heel, though I'm certain I can do average in it if I study for it -- but. I haven't touched it in what seems to be two years now, and I'm studying Mass Communications (completely literary and English). So I doubt I'd do well in getting that scholarship (plus I heard the math exam for that was hard!)
Funding a year on your own to study in Japan is hard because last I checked, dormitory + language school would cost around 20k at least. Then you'd have to factor in your plane tix, your everyday expenses, your eating/shopping etcetc and at this rate I doubt I'd even be able to enjoy life there when I'm busy counting how much money I can afford to spend per day????!??!! lmao. I figured I'd have to get a job first and work and save to study for a year there, but then that means one year passed where I could have been studying :/ And I would really love to study things that I like rather than work tbh.
So all these googling eventually just made me roll my eyes and turn my thoughts away and just concentrate on the fact that I'm going to Japan next year in March for Gaze's live~ Plans are already made, I just need for Gazette's live dates to be announced -__- But yeah, defo going to Japan then. And for two weeks at least!
I really hate thinking about the future, and I hate thinking about all my inadequacies and this and that and how I might not get what I want :( I just want to be able to do what I love and study what I want when I'm young and live a fulfilling life, you know >>
But yes. Anyway, it's late and I need to sleep and I'll probably study more Cantonese tomorrow~